What do you value most?

Posted on October 19, 2012. Filed under: What do you value most? | Tags: , , , , |

Did this week go according to plan? Or are you frustrated wondering what on earth happened? We are halfway through the fall and sooner than you think we will have Christmas. Did this autumn turn out as you thought it would? An even bigger question: Did your life turn out the way you hoped? If not, how can you get the quality you desire in your life and time? This question might not seem relevant to you, but perhaps for someone you care about?

Whatever you choose, consciously or unconsciously, what you value most in life will have a dominant influence on your life. It will affect your choices; it will even affect who you choose to share your life with. It will also affect how happy you will be. Not completely unimportant?

You can influence your choices, but only if you are aware of them. We constantly meet situations in our lives that cause us to think, act and make decisions. Our actions and decisions are mostly based on what we value. Many of our values, we have taken over from people who meant a lot to us. Maybe it was something that your parents valued highly and which you indirectly imported without critically questioning whether these values will help you achieve what you want in life.

I am happy to offer an example from my own life. My health. This neverending project. When will I become healthier? Let’s say that I have set up unnecessarily harsh rules for my values ​​about health to be met. Maybe I need to exercise at least four times a week and at least one hour at a time, other than that I also need to eat healthy and vitamin-rich food cooked with care and love. In addition, I have to feel relaxed and calm the ENTIRE time. Each day should be filled with thoughts of relaxation and well-being.

Does that sound absurd? Well, now that we’re talking about it, I actually think it sounds pretty absurd. But believe me, before I clarified these unrealistic facts, I was quite unhappy with myself, EVERY week. If there is anything the brain finds boring, it is the feeling of being a loser, every week. When the objectives are so unattainable, I feel a greater need to dive into a bowl of candy and feel sorry for myself on the couch than taking a brisk and fresh walk.

Another common example when it comes to thoughts about values ​​is money and how we value our economy. What do you need to feel financially secure? Should you be totally free of any debts? Have a few million in a Swiss bank account? A gold vault in the basement? Be able to buy what you want and when you want it and never think about money?

The easiest way to find out what you value in life is to think about how you spend your week, both at work and at leisure. Count the time you spend on different activities. Why do you spend time on those activities? What is the value? Ask that question three times: What’s in it for you? For sure you will find out what you value the most.

The next step is to think about what you would like to prioritize and spend more time on than you do today?

What if you wanted to be more creative at work and for some reason you never have that time in your calendar? What if you, when becoming a parent , want to spend a lot of time with your children and instead find yourself busy arranging for someone else to care for them? What rules do you have for being a good parent? Now, even if you have the most patient children they might not want to spend ALL their time with you ALWAYS. Perhaps they even need to be influenced by someone else from time to time?

Ric Elias was sitting in the front row on the flight 1549, the aircraft that crashed into the Hudson River in New York in January 2009. He was convinced that the end was near, and came up with all these ideas about what he should have valued higher in life. Give him five minutes to tell you about what he came up with when he thought it was too late.


Wishing you a valuable weekend
Petra Brask

“No human is worth more than you, but no human is worth less than you either.”
Stellan Skarsgard


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